Bubs: I will start this review as the movie starts...UNDERWORLD. Right off the bat you are thrown into a movie that blows the senses and the mind.
Hal: Well, Bubs I was a little afraid at first, I thought agent Smith was going to show up in the subway...
Bubs: Yeah I hear ya buddy... I, however, wasn't, for the first thing I saw was Selene...Kate Beckensale. That was the first thing that made my heart leap out of my chest.
Hal: Ohhh now I see...girls in leather seems to be the new fad and that is fine with us!!!
Bubs: Damn straight!! The next thing you know you’re following her into the subway as she is hunting the Lycans..."Why?" you ask... to rid the world of their species... again you ask yourself, "Why?"...and at this point nobody knows. Come to find out that the guy that the Lycans are after is a direct descendant of the vampires bloodline, yet he's a pure blooded human. So now we have a case of the hunted hunting the huntee.
Hal: Selene was very hot and it made up for the boring human guy.
Bubs: I can't begin to tell you any more as the movie is filled with more twists than a pretzel factory, and I will not be a spoiler. Lets just say the look of The Crow + the badass action of the 1st Matrix + the total mind screw of Dark City and that equals Underworld…but that's just the beginning.
Hal: Wow Bubs! I think it touched your heart...that was pretty profound...I loved it too. Tell me Bubs, who was your favorite character?
Bubs: My favorite character was Selene of course. Who was yours?
Hal: Let’s see...Dave Chappelle.
Bubs: Umm…Hal…
Hal: He played the vampire inventor guy...you know the one that made the liquid silver bullets.
Bubs: Er…Hal…
Hal: I love his comedy show but, I didn't know he did kickass fighting movies...hang on…he did do Men in Tights. I forgot about that one.
Bubs: Hal…
Hal: I once was in New York and Dave was getting a latte in front of me...Bubs you remember, right?
Bubs: I remember I had to wee-wee-wee all the way home after all the coffee we drank that weekend.
Hal: Right! That was the weekend I met Dave Chappelle.
Bubs: Yeah I remember the weekend, but Hal…that’s not Dave Chappelle in Underworld.
Hal: It’s not?
Bubs: No. It was somebody else.
Hal: Oh…bummer. Well the point I was making was I had to "go" really bad, but the action was so awesome I didn't want to leave my seat!
Bubs: I know buddy...I almost wet myself when that guy yelled out "BOOMTOWN!!" at the screen.
Hal: Bubs, you should explain the origin of "boomtown" to our readers.
Bubs: Well... in the theater that we were in, some fan, who either had seen the movie once or twice or was extremely clairvoyant, shouted out " BOOMTOWN!!!" when an explosion happened on screen. It was very Rocky Horror-esque. I had the sudden urge to do the Time Warp again. However, I resisted and the movie continued. But you know something, Hal?
Hal: Yes my friend?
Bubs: Looking back at it "Boomtown" really captured how I felt at that moment in time.
Hal: You’re spanked-red right Bubs!
Bubs: Ummm…Thank you?
Hal: I think we all have a little "Boomtown" feeling deep inside that needs to get out sometimes and Underworld was one of those moments. That says a lot...the movie kicked ass.
Bubs: Boomtown, Hal...Boomtown.
Hal: Word. Actually, the only thing that bothered me was that I felt Michael should have had a little more back-story. Maybe he had dreams of the Lycans all his life of something. It would have given him a little more oomph as a character. I'm sure we will see more development in the next film... he started growing on me near the end.
Bubs: True...true. A little more development couldn't have hurt anybody. Except Lucien, whom I thought was the most developed character of all.
Hal: He sure was. The whole war started just because of some chick!
Bubs: Yep. That’s how most wars get started…chicks. You can't live with em…can't make a super vampire/werewolf baby with em.
Hal: Hey Bubs? How long do you think it took Selene to get into her leather suit?
Bubs: I thought they painted that on her.
Hal: Is that how they did that? Man… I wondered about that the whole movie.
Bubs: Yeah, that’s an industry secret.
Hal: They had some awesome weapons in the movie too, huh Bubs?
Bubs: Yeah...the light bullets were my favorite. Lets you see the insides of your enemy all lit up and stuff.
Hal: BOOMTOWN!!!
Bubs: AHHHHHH!!!! Ooop...cleanup on Isle 4.
Hal: Ewww…that’s sick, Bubs.
Bubs: So that's our first review... Hope you guys liked it enough to want to see Underworld over and over again. Check back often for updates and news from around the Sci-Fi world...only at Stupid SciFi!
Hal: Bubs... will you make me a grilled cheese?
Bubs: Sure buddy. I know how much you like grilled ch-BOOMTOWN!!!!